T-Sal’s Hisherstory Class: Zombie Apocalypse Survival 101
Hi everyone! Welcome to history class! I know that many of you are not exactly excited to be in a history class. I’ve heard this before. Many students tell me, “T-Sal, history is SOOOOOO boring! Who cares about dead people?” First of all, it is not HIStory, it is HIS and HER story. In this class, we are going to get things from a lot of different perspectives and so, we need to be clear that this is Hisherstory. Okay?
Moving on…
Who cares about dead people? *Raises hand in Hermoine Granger fashion* Me! Why? Because my knowledge of them is what will help me to survive the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse while those of you who don’t know hisherstory are doomed. Why am I better off because of my knowledge of hisherstory? When you learn about dead people you learn about their strategies, how they affected others’ lives, their weaknesses, and their strengths. So, when these people come back as zombies, you know how to outsmart them. True fact.
Aside from the fact that hisherstory will help you to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, hisherstory is interesting! For instance: Did you know that King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella (the Spanish monarchs who gave Columbus the money so that he could sail the ocean blue in 1492) had a daughter named Juana. Juana was crazy. Seriously. Her husband died shortly after they were married and she had his body stuffed and dragged it around the castle with her, talking to the body as if it were alive. Gross. I know, but it’s true! You think I’m making this up? I can’t make this up. This is too good to make it up!
The thing about hisherstory is that it is like a giant story that explains who you are and how you got where you are. However, this story is told by billions of people. Every day, you make hisherstory by doing things that people tell stories about and those stories are told from different perspectives, like the story told below.
Seeing things from a different perspective is what hisherstory is all about. Learning hisherstory will help you to understand other people (including your parents) and help you to know your own stories. And, it will help you to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.
I am excited to explore hisherstory with you and to discover your stories throughout the year. Just always remember: A person who doesn’t know hisherstory is like a person without a memory, they can still function but they never really get anywhere – and they definitely won’t escape the zombies.
